It's that time of year again! Where everyone in the USA celebrates our Independence "Birthday"!!!
When people think of Independence Day, they tend to think of Barbeque's, Parties, fireworks, and parades. It's a fun time for the whole nation. =) But I think we should also remember the soldiers who fought/fight/will fight for that freedom, and had the courage to fight to be free =) And also the soldiers that continue to fight for our nation! =)
So thank you all who have fought/fight/will fight for our nation =)
Ever have those days where they start out good, but as the day progresses, you just wish you had stayed in bed? You'll be doing your own thing, and then the black, inky fog descends. So much for the day...
While the darkness may not be depression, it still has many similarities to depression. For example: Feeling unproductive, un-cared about, ignored, etc.
It can be triggered by the rain, or anything linked to a sad memory.
It's those days when this fog descends that you have to fight the hardest, to try and keep your head above water ( or in this case, the fog). If you don't, it's quite possible, even probable that it could turn into depression.
Today's been a bit of something like that for me today... I think it has something to do with the rain...
Stress: Something that we all deal with at some point in our lives. Sometimes I have to wonder why that feeling was every created...
Unfortunately, that is one of the feelings that have been bopping around in my head. In fact, right now it is threatening to suffocate any other feelings I am having... It seems like so much is going on, with little or no time to complete those things. And forget about enjoying anything... There just seems to be a lack of time!
Sometimes, I wish I could just find a quiet nook in the woods, and just ignore everyone and everything until *I* feel like coming out, and chose which one of my problems I want to deal with. Unfortunately that is not how life works... Why does it have to be so cruel at times?! -_-
I want a hug...and in the same moment I want to slap someone. Hard. And cry. and have another hug...
Ok, I admit it... I have had Fiddler on the Roof songs bouncing around in my head all day... =D Everything from Sunrise, Sunset to "If I were a Rich Man" to Matchmaker, Matchmaker. I guess I know what I'll be watching sometime soon! =) I'm so glad things have changed from back then! I don't have to worry about being "stuck for good" because a matchmaker found me the perfect match... I get to be my own matchmaker...I get to decide for myself who *I* want to marry. After all, it wouldn't be the matchmaker having to live with him, now would it? So happy I live in a different time... =) I want to marry for love, not because my family background, or because my Dad/the matchmaker thinks we would look great together... ;)
Matchmaker, Matchmaker
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match, Find me a find, catch me a catch Matchmaker, Matchmaker Look through your book, And make me a perfect match
Chava: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, I'll bring the veil, You bring the groom, Slender and pale. Bring me a ring for I'm longing to be, The envy of all I see.
Hodel: For Papa, Make him a scholar.
Chava: For mama, Make him rich as a king.
Chava and Hodel: For me, well, I wouldn't holler If he were as handsome as anything.
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match, Find me a find, Catch me a catch, Night after night in the dark I'm alone So find me match, Of my own.
(spoken)
Tzeitel: Since when are you in a match, Chava? I thought you had your eye on your books.
(Hodel chuckles)
Tzeitel con't: And you have your eye on the Rabbi's son.
Hodel: Well, why not? We have only one Rabbi and he has only one son. Why shouldn't I want the best?
Tzeitel: Because you're a girl from a poor family. So whatever Yenta brings, you'll take, right? Of course right!
(throws scarf over her head, imitating Yenta) (singing)
Hodel, oh Hodel, Have I made a match for you! He's handsome, he's young! Alright, he's 62. But he's a nice man, a good catch, true? True.
I promise you'll be happy, And even if you're not, There's more to life than that--- Don't ask me what.
Chava, I found him. Won't you be a lucky bride! He's handsome, he's tall, That is from side to side. But he's a nice man, a good catch, right? Right.
You heard he has a temper. He'll beat you every night, But only when he's sober, So you'll alright.
Did you think you'd get a prince? Well I do the best I can. With no dowry, no money, no family background Be glad you got a man!
Chava: Matchmaker, Matchmaker, You know that I'm Still very young. Please, take your time.
Hodel: Up to this minute, I misunderstood That I could get stuck for good.
Chava and Hodel: Dear Yenta, See that he's gentle Remember, You were also a bride. It's not that I'm sentimental
Chava and Hodel and Tzeitel: It's just that I'm terrified!
Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Plan me no plans I'm in no rush Maybe I've learned Playing with matches A girl can get burned So, Bring me no ring Groom me no groom Find me no find Catch me no catch Unless he's a matchless match.
(the song starts about 1:34)
If I were a Rich Man
[TEVYE] 'Dear God, you made many, many poor people. I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be poor. But it's no great honor either! So, what would have been so terrible if I had a small fortune?' If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I'd build a big tall house with rooms by the dozen, Right in the middle of the town. A fine tin roof with real wooden floors below. There would be one long staircase just going up, And one even longer coming down, And one more leading nowhere, just for show.
I'd fill my yard with chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks For the town to see and hear. And each loud 'cheep' and 'swaqwk' and 'honk' and 'quack' Would land like a trumpet on the ear, As if to say 'Here lives a wealthy man.'
If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I see my wife, my Golde, looking like a rich man's wife With a proper double-chin. Supervising meals to her heart's delight. I see her putting on airs and strutting like a peacock. Oy, what a happy mood she's in. Screaming at the servants, day and night.
The most important men in town would come to fawn on me! They would ask me to advise them, Like a Solomon the Wise. 'If you please, Reb Tevye...' 'Pardon me, Reb Tevye...' Posing problems that would cross a rabbi's eyes! And it won't make one bit of difference if i answer right or wrong. When you're rich, they think you really know!
If I were rich, I'd have the time that I lack To sit in the synagogue and pray. And maybe have a seat by the Eastern wall. And I'd discuss the holy books with the learned men, several hours every day. That would be the sweetest thing of all.
If I were a rich man, Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. All day long I'd biddy biddy bum. If I were a wealthy man. I wouldn't have to work hard. Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum. If I were a biddy biddy rich, Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.
I just felt like writing "letters" today =) Below are some "letters" I wrote to different people =) Some of to people who will probably never read my blog, some are to my close friends, and some are to other people who have touched my life in some way =)
Dear Friend, I bet you never knew, and I bet you never WILL know, but you were my inspiration. I bet you never knew I was constantly watching you. If you told a joke, I would laugh, remember it, and treasure it. If you said your favorite color was red, suddenly, my favorite color was red. I would wear anything in my wardrobe that was red. When you started to wear a Boston Red Sox cap, guess what I wanted, and started to wear? You started bringing your camera around with you and taking pictures of everything and everyone. I bet you didn't know, but you were my role model. What you did, I did. What you said, I said. I have so much to thank you for! I loved your hair when it was just a little bit longer, and I could never stand it right after you got it cut. You made me laugh so much during those years we were friends. It's you I have to thank for my love of photography. It's you I have to thank for all those smiles. It's you I have to thank in so many other ways. I bet you never realized you had a shadow =) We've grown very distant over the years, and while you have probably have forgotten me, I still watch you and smile, remembering all those years. Thank you friend =)
Dear B.K., What can I say? You're my BFFL! You're awesome in a lot of ways =) You're helped me to be more like me, than any other friend I have ever had! You have encouraged me every step of the way since that first hello. You're sweet, beautiful, thoughtful, and inspiring. Before I met you, I was the girl hiding in the corner. But you've helped me to become (crazy, cough cough) more myself. You've helped me to lose that last shell, and to be more confident in myself! =) Before you, I NEVER. EVER. Would dance, sing, or goof around in public, especially at yg. Yah, I was boring ;) But because of you, I'm more confident in myself, and I love being random ;) I love how we can look at each other, and burst into a laughing fit. Or how we can quote movies back and forth, and talk about our dreams together <3 You're the best BFFL a person can have <3 Love you girl! <3
Dear T. P. M., You're awesome. ;) You encourage me, you're always there when I need someone to talk to. When I want to kill someone (not literally, but, you know what I mean), it's you and my bffl that I go to first. =) You're one of only a couple of people who can calm me down when I'm really really mad at someone. You're like a second mom to me! When I feel like the world is crashing down on me, it's you I talk to. When I feel sad, you're always the one who can cheer me up ;) You always have a quote about almost everything (you probably even have a quote about cheese ;) ). What I want to know, is my weren't you born as my sister?! ;) I love you, and you're awesome! Thank you for every single time you've helped me out, wether you realized you helped me out or not! =)
Dear C.M., Three musketeers! It's so fun talking to you! ;) And I always find it amazing just how many times you can hurt your foot in a couple of weeks ;) I enjoy quoting Nemo back and forth ;) It's so fun being around you, and if you add the other Musketeer, it's an even crazier great time! ;) I love how us musketeers can just look at each other and burst into a fit of laughter hehe ;) and you were stunning in your prom dress girl! That dress was MADE for you! ;) You're so great, funny, awesome, crazy (very) ;) , and we have to find a way to hook up together more often than yg! =D Love you! <3
Dear Z.V., You. Are. CRAZY! ("Crazy? I was crazy once...") And that is why you're one of my closest friends! =D I'm so glad we met back in Awana! =D You're one of only 4 friends that can make me smile just by seeing you! I've also always thought it was cool how we're the same age for 5 days of every year =D Thank you for being my friend! Thank you for all the smiles, and laughter you've given me! I hope you'll be my Awana photography partner next year too? =D
Dear H. P., I will never forget meeting you that first Awana night... I was in 4th grade, and you were in 6th Grade, working on I believe your third book. Ever since that night, I have considered you one of my closest friends =) Even though you're only going to be gone at college for only a little bit, it's still going to be a long time for me... I mean, who's going to give me high fives? Who's going to have a lot of caffeine and then come to youth group?! Who's going to give shoulder massages to everyone? Who's are the little Cubbies going to get attached to?! I don't know about everyone else, but I'm going to miss you a lot... Thank for always being a great friend =) I hope our friendship never ends =)
How many of you out there make lists? That is one thing I seem to do all the time, and I only just recently noticed it... When I make/spend money, I make a list of how much and where. When I want to bake, I go through the cookbooks, and I'll make a list of possible recipes that I have the ingredients available for. But lately I've been obsessed with goals, and wishes. And here comes into play my list making. I have been thinking about what I want to do with my life, and what I want in general. As well as some things I would like to do. Some are simple, some are more complex... =) For example: I love taking photos, and I would love to go to the beach or a park/cemetery and just spend the entire day taking pictures! Another example: I would like to visit (A) any museum (B) The Smithsonian The list about what I want to do in life doesn't consist of much, well, at least not as much as "things that look like fun that I want to do list" (That was a spur of the moment name... I need to come up with a better SHORTER one haha )
Some of the list entries:
1. Take a photo shoot at (A) a beach (B) A lighthouse (C) A park (D) a cemetery 2. Go window shopping, or looking through stores, and also go to the Portland Maine Mall 3. Go to a museum 4. See a professional sidewalk artist in work 5. Go to an actual concert
*Yes, I am home schooled... No, I've never been to any mall... No, I have never gone to a authentic concert, nor a museum. And No, I don't go to parks/beaches/cemeteries/lighthouses =)
But my notebook it starting to fill up! haha =D I looked through it, and I have a individual list for: a party (games, food, people who would be invited), a list of books I do or do not have, movies I like and would like to have, what I wanted to give to who for Christmas, goals I have, My "Bucket List", games I would like to get, things I would like to do, random guy and girl names ( I write stories, so I need names ) ;) , as well as other various lists haha =D
And I'll probably add a few more lists to it within the week day
